- me: i'm cold
- guys: shut up and stop complaining
- pretty girl: i'm cold
- guys: here take my jacket you beautiful little thing let's cuddle to transfer some heat to your precious little body so you don't get frostbite oh dear lord let this child be warm
- calls grocery store
- me: do you have cotton balls
- worker: yes
- me: does it tickle when u walk
- worker: -hangs up-
